don't know what to say..

my blog's growing mould already.. 

today's the day that i finally found myself so helpless.. so not able to express my feelings..but can only write on my blog..

this happened few days ago.. One of my friend in my batch, gave my number to one of the second year seniors. I'll just name him as "GK".. GK wants to know me it seems. One day, GK called. We chat. And i kind of like GK. 

i don't wanna mention GK's gender, it's very easy to know after reading my entire post*

Two days ago, he asked me out to the beach. I refused. He came to the library to meet me up, yet, i was too shy.. I didn't even have the courage to raise my head up to look at him and talk.

Yesterday, another two seniors added me in fb. One of them even got my number. I felt really scared, because i might have done something wrong until the seniors seemed to be "hunting" for me..

I told GK about it, and he called, he said he likes me a lot.. He even said " you are even more important than my studies".. i wasn't really touched, but i do felt kind of sweet..

I called my mum, and told her about it. She discouraged. I am really sad.. TM called too. But i kind of ignoring TM, cuz i don't feel like having a conversation with that fellow.

I got my friends support.. I told my seniors about it, and they told me to give each other some time, to know each other better, then we'll see whether to continue the friendship or not.

GK didn't talk much to me today.. perhaps GK is concentrating on studies since university exams are on coming Tuesday.. Or perhaps GK's angry at me.. I wonder..

I went to the library to study this afternoon. I was too tired, until i slept on the table.. I am so disappoint on myself today.. what is going on with my performance?? people around me used to say i'm a very studious type of person.. Today i behaved abnormally though.. i dont know what is actually disturbing my mind now.. Is it because GK? or.. someone else?

I've just read ZE's blog.. i'm really curious of who is ZE talking about. I used to visit ZE's blog very much often. Most of the post which related to relationships, ZE will delete them. I told ZE "i miss u too".. but it seems ZE has got no response. Back in M'sia, almost everyday i've been thinking of ZE. But ever since GK's existence.. things changed a little bit..

I don't mind if my mum or anyone else read this post, This is how i feel now.. And i really need some counselling. But i am still wise, I know what am i doing, i know what is wrong and what is right. Still i'm the STUDIOUS type of person, perhaps..

perhaps not today.. I just to get things clear..